Waluigi Runs A Crust Settlement
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Waluigi's Taco Stand sucked so much Waluigi went right ahead to make a sequel... only to trick the viewers into discovering that it's just deleted bits that were too bland to keep in the main story!
1. Waluigi's Taco Stand Is Stale

"Well here it is you ungrateful fucks." Waluigi complained having his taco stand in Seaside Hill ready to go.

"Why did you bother making a sequel?" A Koopa Troopa asked.

"Because people don't know when to let memes die past their expiration date." Waluigi complained while eating a taco he just made. "You have to know that every action you do in the present will be looked upon in the future."

"...So why did you claim this is a sequel when it's just a gaffe?" Master Hand muttered in confusion.

"Because there are better stories than the 1 about me having a fucking stand for goddamn tacos!" Waluigi snapped as he was more angry than the time he got his Waluweenie stuck in a vending machine while reading bad fanfiction of him and Wario being shipped, shooting Master Hand for no reason.

Wario simply shrugged as he was eating all the burgers he grilled at his nearby failing burger stand. "I don't even know how to comment on that. But I do know that no one's gonna waste 120 objects on my junk..."

* * *

Waluigi watched as Princess Daisy munched down her fifty third beefy taco in a row, taking a brief break to burp loudly as several palm trees around the Koopa Cape came falling down. Toadette had her hands behind her back, watching alongside Daisy.

"Golly, Daisy sure is gassy," Toadette piped as she turned her head to Waluigi. "You know, that made me wonder."

Waluigi sighed, folding his arms while glancing at Toadette. "What?"

Toadette moved her left foot on the smooth grass. "How come it doesn't stink around here? I mean, it smells so pleasant and beachy, despite Daisy farting all the time."

Waluigi smirked. "Daisy's farts are like Daisy herself. Loud, but harmless."

Toadette blinked, then began giggling. "That was a good one, Waluigi! Teehee!"

Daisy overheard, glaring at Waluigi and Toadette. "Loud but harmless, eh? I'm gonna make both of you puke!" Daisy farted loudly, her eyes closed as she summoned a horrid stench.

Waluigi caught the stench, and fell over, his left leg twitching. Toadette kept giggling, since she didn't have a nose. Daisy continuously farted, her yellow dress getting a large brown stain from her bassy butt blasts of gas as she fueled her fart tank with tacos.

"That tomboy princess just doesn't know when to stop farting, huh?" Dry Bowser sighed as he was polishing several tires with Petey Piranha, who shrugged as the mutated piranha plant ate up several tires that weren't polished at all.

* * *

Waluigi watched as the blue jays flew overhead in the clear blue sky, while the ocean waves made splashes on the beach. He sighed, spotting a pair of red Egg pawns walking nearby on the sandy shore of Isle Delfino Plaza. Gasping, Waluigi picked up one of the tacos, waving it to the Egg pawn couple.

"Hey! You bucket of bolts!" Waluigi exclaimed, trying to catch the robots' attention. "I'm talking to you robo chumps! I got some tacos here! Over here!"

The two Egg pawns spotted Waluigi frantically waving his arms. They shrugged, moving onward through the tropical foliage.

Waluigi sighed as he dropped his arms, looking down. "Well, that obviously didn't go as well as I hoped..."

* * *

Waluigi was placing several finished tacos he made into the back as he was closing up his taco stand early on, with the sunset being in the background as he got into his blue colored Honeycoupe vehicle. Princess Daisy farted again as she let out a sigh of relief, noticing that Waluigi was preparing to go.

"Hey Wally! Where are ya going?" Daisy asked as she appeared on top of Waluigi's Honeycoupe, wearing her normal yellow dress.

Waluigi pushed Daisy off the hood of his Honeycoupe as he massaged his twisty mustache. "If you must know, fart face, I'm going to the middle of Seaside Hill. Construction there has finished, and Petey Piranha has confirmed that he's ready to reveal his new Popcorn Parlor to the world."

"Popcorn Parlor!?" Daisy exclaimed as she gleefully giggled, bouncing up and down. "Can I come with you, please I promise I won't be a-"

Waluigi scoffed as he tossed his left hand in the air, disregarding Daisy. "You wish! Go in your own vehicle!" He then drove off, heading to the western direction, with Daisy deciding to follow in her yellow colored Daytripper vehicle that she had hidden in the tropical foliage, following Waluigi closely, much to his annoyance.

* * *

"I just realized something." Waluigi remarked in pain as he finished making his batch of tacos.

"What?" Toadette asked while eating a taco, letting out a mild fart.

Waluigi slapped his forehead. "...we lost everything we wrote today."

"OH **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**" Darth Vader screamed in his iconic voice clip from a certain Star Wars Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith that counted as him having yelled and exclaimed and cried and laughed and wheezed and gasped in horror and shock and terror and all that shit.

And then the taco stand exploded. Princess Daisy farted in tight jeans as she had a pudgy stomach from munching on a huge bunch of tacos, with Dry Bowser popping out of the sand.

"Hey, instead of complaining, why don't you try to fix up things?" Dry Bowser suggested after seeing Waluigi pop out of the rubble.

"Wah-" Waluigi was going to comment when Daisy let out a fart so powerful, it caused Seaside Hill to sink into the sea.

"That's a new record for me shitting my pants!" Daisy exclaimed as her orange clothing were more brown stained than what they were before, her flatulence being the only thing around as her stinky eggy methane took out the entire planet slowly.


	2. Gamers Rise Up In A Waluigi Taco

"There we go." Waluigi said after setting up a new sign for his taco stand on the Koopa Troopa Beach.

"This is bogus." Luigi complained as he had his own shitty stand nearby. "Come to Luigi's coffee stand!"

There was silence as the people who came by laughed at Luigi's lame stand while going over to Waluigi and enjoy his tacos, making the purple man laugh while the green pallet swap wept in depression.

"Eat shit, green Mario!" Waluigi taunted as he willingly gave the people his tacos.

"First the mobile tour racing, now this... why does no one like me?" Luigi whimpered.

"Because no one likes you outside of being a forced unfunny meme!" Waluigi taunted as everyone joined him in laughing at his rival, because he got what he fucking deserved.

* * *

"Psst! Petey!" Waluigi called out in desperation as he looked left to right, then looking back up to see the mutant piranha plant resting on a palm tree at Seaside Hill. "Hey Peter! Look over here!"

Petey Piranha yawned as he stretched, jumping down and approaching Waluigi. "Yeah Wally? What's up?"

Waluigi took out a piece of paper, handing it to Petey. "Here. I'm running a bit low on supplies. Think you could go scout for me?"

Petey saluted. "You can count on me, Waluigi! I won't take long!" Petey then flapped away, heading northward.

Waluigi sighed as he rubbed his forehead with his left hand. "That was a close call. I don't want to be away from my Taco Stand when the time comes for a potential customer."

"So you're relying on Petey to get you your stuff?" Dry Bowser scoffed as he was leaning on a palm tree, his boney arms folded as he shook his head. "So pathetic."

Waluigi growled as he grabbed his tennis racket and smashed several tacos at Dry Bowser, managing to reduce the skeletal reptile into a pile of bones, the lanky taco selling man laughing.

* * *

Waluigi looked at the clock on his right wrist, seeing the sun slightly move high in the clear blue sky of Seaside Hill. He sighed as he shook his head. "Three in the afternoon. That klutz of a princess will be here any moment..."

Daisy fell flat on her face in the sand, getting up as she placed her hands behind her back, approaching the taco stand while giggling. "Didja miss me, sweety?"

Waluigi rolled his eyes as he folded his arms. "Honestly? No."

Daisy winked. "Anyway, since I love this place so much, and since I have newfound love and respect for you!" She blew a kiss towards Waluigi, "I brought some new customers here!"

Waluigi gasped as his eyes widened, then he resumed his neutral annoyed position. "Wait a minute, am I going to regret asking who they are?"

Daisy farted loudly as she winked with her right eye. "Maybe... hehuehie!"

It was then that a red Shy Guy popped out from underneath Daisy's dress. "Mamma mia! You should get a whiff of this chick's butt, it's like an active volcano! And when I mean that, I mean hot and rotten! Pee yew! Talk about a total disaster, am I right-"

Waluigi placed his right hand on his face, shaking his head. "Daisy, why... on God's green earth why did you bring the loudmouth Shy Guy... what is wrong with you..."

* * *

Waluigi sighed as he placed both of his elbows on the yellow counter, being bored as ever. There were several plates of fresh tacos surrounding him, but he was just not as motivated to do anything with them.

"Well, I got gypped out of getting that stupid squirrel's money..." Waluigi muttered to himself as he sighed, shaking his head. "Maybe I'll just make a bed out of tacos and rest on it..."

Suddenly, Petey Piranha and Toadette both collided into the taco stand, causing it to shake. Waluigi screamed as he felt his balance loosen up, causing him to fall back, the tacos falling right on him as the plates fell to the ground, breaking up. Petey Piranha and Toadette looked over the counter to see the knocked out Waluigi, then turned to themselves, wondering what to do.

"Did we do that?" Toadette asked with her hands on her face.

Petey shrugged with his leaves. "I don't fucking know."

Waluigi suddenly had a dream where he was doing some tennis playing, but it was something he didn't like as the subconscious vision was more akin to a nightmare.

**Princess Daisy farted as she panted, fanning herself with her right hand as she was stuffed, wearing her sports outfit as her orange shorts were about to pop due to her pudgy stomach from eating a huge bunch of Waluigi's tacos at the snowy tennis court. "Phew... I think I'm gonna collapse..."**

**"Oh please do." Waluigi remarked as he proceeded to have a single tennis match with a yellow Luma instead.**

Waluigi suddenly woke up in a cold sweat, his eyes widened with fear as he was covered in his stale tacos. "Wah! What the hell happened?"

Toadette was helping fix the stand with Petey as she explained, "Well we sort of crashed down on you and felt bad so we're fixing up the place."

"Yeah that's right." Petey nodded as he sneezed, causing Toadette to be blown high in the sky as the foundation broke onto Waluigi again, knocking him out cold.

* * *

Princess Daisy farted loudly as her brown stained orange colored tight jeans puffed up from the tuba like sounding gas, laughing as she pooted again, munching on a taco, with Toadette giggling, who was sitting across from Daisy at the same wooden table, also munching on tacos. Waluigi sighed in annoyance as he stared at the girls, though he was able to not be as annoyed due to actually having customers. Birdo came over, not for tacos, but morbidly curious as she noticed that Wario wasn't around him on the sunny side shore of the Cheep Cheep Beach.

"Hey Waluigi, I don't mean to damper your business," Birdo started as she folded her arms, having looked around the beach to see different customers from all different kinds of places. "But where's Wario? Isn't he normally involved with you in all the sports and parties?"

Waluigi scoffed as he turned his head at Birdo, shaking his head as he gave Amy Rose a plate full of tacos. "Just because we're best friends doesn't mean we always have to be at each other's sides." He then counted the green dollar bills he received from Amy as a generic orange colored Egg Pawn walked up to the yellow counter. "Besides, last time I heard, Wario somehow ended up in Hailfire Peaks."

Birdo shook her head, being in disbelief. "Hailfire Peaks? Why on earth would Wario want to go there?"

Waluigi shrugged as he handed the Egg Pawn four tacos. "Beats me. Maybe he wants to hang out with that stupid polar bear Boggy, or something."

"I hope he's having fun." Amy mused.

"I'm sure he is!" Toadette cheered.

"Not as much as me!" Daisy laughed.

Meanwhile in the fire side of Hailfire Peaks, Wario screamed as he was being chased by two annoying imp like Hotheads, who were tossing yellow balls of fire at Wario, making him burn his butt as he scaled up the gigantic red volcano, with several Hothands trying to stop him from progressing.

"D'oh I Missed!" Wario cried. "Uwah!"

* * *

Waluigi was counting all the money he collected from since opening up his taco stand in Seaside Hill. Naturally he was pleased to see that he had lots of money on his hands, because he loved having cash on him.

"Haha! This taco stand was a pretty good idea, if I do say so myself!" Waluigi exclaimed as he laughed, sniffing the cash as he had enjoyed its _scent_ of, well, currency. "This should be enough to pay off my new mansion!"

Princess Daisy zipped by, her hands behind her back. "Waluigi, my gas tank is empty!" She pulled another yellow suitcase out of nowhere, filled with green dollar bills. "Can I have all of your tacos?"

Waluigi rubbed his chin as he squinted his eyes, looking upwards. "Which ones?"

Daisy stuck out her tongue as she belted a raunchy fart, winking. "The ones that make the most fart gas, duh!"

Waluigi shrugged, handing Daisy the huge variety of tacos. "Here. I'm not an expert in the flatulent category."

Daisy squealed as she zipped off to the east, munching down on the tacos with glee as she got her gassiness back. Waluigi shook his head.

"What a nasty woman." Waluigi said to himself as he casually shrugged, picking up a fish flavored taco and looking at it profoundly.

* * *

Waluigi watched in annoyance as Daisy and Toadette were trying to see who's farts were louder, with both of their flatulence being foul smelling. Tom Nook walked up to Waluigi's taco stand, watching the two girls fart as he turned to Waluigi.

"Wow... are things really this crazy here?" Tom Nook asked as he folded his arms.

Waluigi glanced over to Tom Nook, sighing as he slowly nodded his head. "Believe me, this is considered normal. You don't want to know the real weird stuff..."

Princess Daisy farted the loudest, her yellow dress exploding as her orange panties were revealed, with the entire back of them being brown. Daisy glanced at it, letting out a deep pitched poot as she giggled, with Toadette giggling as well, Waluigi and Tom Nook looking at each other as the tacos on the wooden table were going to waste.

"Wow, that is a definite stinker!" Daisy boasted while fanning the air from shitting her shorts.

"You're telling me!" Toadette responded as she peed herself while farting away.


End file.
